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Is Your Child being Bullied?
This story appears in the July 2017 issue of School LIVE.
Bullying in society is a menace, and as a parent, it is important to monitor and recognize if your child is being bullied in school or any other social setting such as the playground, tuition center, or in any other place. Our expert, Prerna Kohli helps you identify the signals pointing to it.

Bullying is an unacceptable behaviour among children. It is the use of force, coercion, threats, intimidation or aggressive behaviour to dominate or subjugate others. The following behavioural changes are signposts that your child may be bullied.

Bullying is an unacceptable behaviour among children. Many parents tend to either ignore if their child is a bully or in the extreme case encourage their child to be a bully.

•    If your child is generally careful but is still losing his stationery, and other supplies at school such a pens, pencils, crayons, etc

•    Your child is having troubled sleep

•    Your child is suffering from extreme mood swings, venting out on younger siblings, pets, servants at home, etc.

•    He/She does not want to participate and is looking for excuses to skip school or other social activities

•    Your child is suffering from low self-esteem

•    You notice physical marks of hurt on their body

•    The child’s health is deteriorating, such as headaches, stomach aches, frequent fevers, tremors and a constant high level of stress

If you observe even a few of these symptoms in your child, they are good indicators that your child is being bullied in school. It is advisable to talk to the school authorities and meet with an experienced psychologist to ensure that there are no lifelong scars.

Ways to find out if your Child is A Bully

In the unfortunate circumstance that in your opinion your child is a bully, either the school or other parents are complaining to you about your child being a bully, you need to take appropriate action.

Bullying is an unacceptable behaviour among children. Many parents tend to either ignore if their child is a bully or in the extreme case, encourage their child to be a bully. They feel that a bully will be more successful in life. Unfortunately, the lifelong ramifications of a childhood bully are intense, and the child grows up to be an unhappy adult, who has difficulty in having successful and meaningful relationships and there is a high probability that a child who is a bully, will have an unsuccessful marriage. It is important to remember that both boys and girls can be bullies.

Given below are behaviours to recognize if your child is a bully. If you feel that your child is a bully, it is strongly suggested to meet a qualified psychologist to reverse these characteristics:

•    Trouble sleeping at night

•    Age inappropriate behavioural issues

•    Trouble at school, excessive complaints

•    Excessive need to be popular

•    Displaying aggressive tendencies with others

•    Domestic violence at home, verbal or physical

•    Relationship issues with either or both parents

If you observe any of these traits in your child, it is important not to ignore them, and instead, seek professional guidance. Bully children grow up to be bullies as adults and have extreme difficulty in maintaining healthy relationships with others.










What to do if your Child is being Bullied at School?

As a parent, your first instinct upon learning that your child is being bullied is going to be paternal where you want to fix the bully. Bullying is an unacceptable behaviour among children. 

The most important responsibility as a parent is to ensure the safety and security of your child; as well as to equip your child with the skills to handle bullies. As your child matures, you may not always be present to protect them from bullies; hence it is very important to teach your child how to tackle these bullying situations when they arise in the future.

•    Listen without getting angry or upset

•    Reassure your child it’s not their fault

•    Don’t let the bullying dominate their life

•    Don’t charge off demanding to see the principal or teacher, the bully or the bully’s parents

•    Do not dismiss their experience

•    Don’t allow your anger, hurt, guilt, helplessness or fear to impede your actions

•    Remember all schools are legally required to have an anti-bullying policy

With the proliferation of social media, cyber bullying is gaining prominence, people need to realize online bullying has just as much of an impact as physical bullying because written words are just as cutting and difficult to deal.

Unfortunately for a long time, our society has ignored bullying by labelling it as a 'rite of passage' and by asking students to simply 'get over it.' This attitude has to change. Daily, students are bullied into silence and are afraid to speak up. We need to end bullying in our schools.

For further help, you can write to  Dr. Prerna Kohli at prernakohli5@gmail.com


An avid book reader travels the world sitting on her armchair.



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